the four right chords can make me cry

Despite the cheerful melody of this song, i have always found it incredibly incredibly depressing.

i identify with georgy girl. i am georgy girl.

i dream of the person i wish i were, intelligent, poised, witty, collected, cool, not dowdy, more atheletic or at least less clumsy, capable, sociable, disciplined, purposeful. but this is me, stuttering sometimes, totally clueless about how to be a normal 19 year old, lazy, painfully shy, withdrawn.

i have all these well-meaning friends around me singing "georgy girl" to me, relentlessly, if unconsciously, through their attitudes, words.

thing is, although i wish i were someone else sometimes, i dont want to change into that person either. contradictory? well, yes, but thats how i feel.

i want to like me for me, with all my shortcomings and quirks and weirdness. but i want to be that perfect person too. damn, what do i want?

and i thought i settled this nasty emotion yesterday after talking it out with a friend. humbug, looks like this is an issue thats gonna stay with me for a long time more.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:28 PM